I've been running around like a crazy person getting things in order for my visa, writing thank you notes, babysitting (need the extra cash), packing, shopping for warm clothes (not gonna complain about new clothes haha), seeing family, friends, and working a bit for my old boss again. yeah...so life is busy, I definitely dove head first back in the swing of things.
I'm about to go on a rant, just to warn you...and I'm going to be really honest with you all, you've never heard me talk like this because I tend to keep my feelings about the opposite sex behind a thick brick wall...I miss Jesse. I went on this trip for the children, to help wherever I was needed...Zanzibar was an added bonus so I had no idea what to expect but we had an amazing time. So after it's all said and done I think he is amazing and I like him so much...but we haven't talked since we've been back, except for a few texts, which he has not even responded to the one I sent him Thursday night telling him I officially got the job, which kind of makes me wonder. I know he's busy, I am too, but good grief. so yeah...I'm actually letting myself feel something instead of locking it up and telling myself it's not the right time and that it could never work. I don't even know if he has ANY feelings that way...so yeah. Please keep me in your prayers that I can rely on my strength (that would be God) and move past it....because it's not like he's some tool that I should stay far away from, he's an incredible guy. uggg. any advice on that I should do? Here's what I'm thinking...I have to fly out of New York City to Paris because it's way cheaper, and hopefully I'll get to see him before I leave even if it's only for 5 minutes. and I'm gonna tell him in some sort of Grace Kelly straight out of Hollywood way (and by that I mean I'll screw it up, I'm no "grace" in any sense of the word) that I like him (just to get it out there) but that I'm not expecting anything and I know that it's terrible timing...but that timing is a lame excuse to not live your life and that I'd like to give it a shot. if he's down. yeah. that's my grand, extremely lame plan. tell me what you think....
I seriously hope this blog is as secure as we think it is because I would hate for anybody else to read this haha.
Jenna, I don't care whether you're about to join the right wing conspiracy, as long as you are passionate about it and you put your heart and soul into it...I may want to fly to LA to ring you neck occasionally, but I will always love your conservative self. You know, once my life settles down and I am into the swing of things in Paris I'm going to devote some time to really figuring out where I stand on some issues, who knows I may be more conservative than I'd like to admit. I'm proud of you, no matter what!
Karissa, just got an email from puges saying that she had an awesome time with you in Paris and that you found our favorite thrift stores over by the pompidou. I am SO excited to be there and I hope you had a wonderful time at my new home :) Tell Barbs and Palphers I say hello!
Kcraig, enjoy senior year. I saw Lauren's pics online and it made my heart smile. Live it up!
Julie I will talk to you soon. I swear. miss you a ton though and am so glad the boot is off!!
over and out. Love and miss you all.
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