This is not even a lie. My roommate Liz was shocked and appalled at the chaos I caused within 1 hour. Jenna called me for a phone date tonight and when she called I informed her I would have to call her back due to the fact that I was currently trying to nurse a 3rd degree burn I incurred...on my vag. Yes. My vag.
We have no couches currently because my bro took mine and our other roommate is moving in this weekend and she has all the family room furniture. So my other roomie Liz (there are lots of them, this I know is true)...and I are watching a movie and I boil some water for tea. As soon as I bring the tea in the family room and sit on the floor, I dump and entire mug of boiling water on my crotch...yes, my crotch. The next 25 minutes was marked by me sitting in just my undies and icing my vag...all the while my roommate is dying with laughter....THEN to make things worse (there is already a chance I will not be able to have children after this fiasco)...my friend Sol decides to "drop by" and pick some stuff up at our apartment....he asks Liz where I am and she tells him I burnt my crotch really bad and locked myself in the bathroom with Ice. Great. Laughter ensued. I called Jenna back while I finished the icing process (she can attest to the pain I caused myself).....
You would think that would be enough JSchied OG to get me through at least this month. But no....I walk back to the family room (in my undies still with ice on my crotch) to rejoin my roommate and literally kick an entire glass of red wine across the family room all over our brand new carpet. Great. 2 hours later (home remedies, wine away, carpet cleaner, etc) I have reduced the color to just a hint of pink and now I am going to bed. Here's to knowing that tomorrow cannot be any worse than today.
Cheers.
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